Wendy Wax: MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS

In today's guest post, Wendy Wax, author of Magnolia Wednesdays explains why she is steering clear of vampires in her work and her life!

Ten Reasons I won’t be writing about (or dating) Vampires

I inhaled the Twilight series and am a fan of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels. I also have a number of author friends who have successfully written not only vampires but everything from big time supernatural beings to ordinary people with paranormal…quirks. As much as I’d love to ride the paranormal wave, I will probably NOT be writing about (or dating) Vampires any time soon.

Here’s why:

1. They’re scary and I’m, well, a wuss. A wuss with a highly developed imagination. If a pilot doesn’t ace his in-flight announcement, I’m convinced we’re going down. If I had to think about Vampires every day I’d be sleeping with the lights on and one eye open every night.



2. They’re cold. I’m from Florida and sometimes find Georgia too chilly. I would have a hard time writing a convincing love scene between a human and a good looking block of ice.



3. They’re dead. Once that statement would have been followed by ‘enough said.’ I’m pretty sure that having a physical relationship with a dead person is still called necrophilia.


4. They don’t eat. I already spend too much time worrying about my weight. I’d feel like a complete overeater compared to a vampire. What would I tell my Weight Watcher’s group?


5. They are exceptionally attractive. I decided back in high school that I wouldn’t date anyone who was better looking than me. Most of my characters feel the same way.


6. Did I mention that they’re dead?


7. They sleep during the day and are awake at night. Which means most of your important scenes would probably be night scenes. Think of all the daytime adjectives that would be wasted. Plus, if they’re awake and watching you sleep, they’ll know for sure whether you snore or drool.


8. They don’t age. You do. I’m already worrying about the lines appearing on my face and the body parts that have started sagging.


9. They have fangs and drink blood. I faint at the sight of blood and have a fear of sharp objects puncturing my flesh. I once jumped out of a moving car to try to avoid getting a shot.


10. They’re pretty much over all their basic neuroses. After all, they’re dead. I bet it takes a lot of work to create convincing layers of character once a character has shuffled off that mortal coil.

Bottom line, they say you should write what you know. I don’t know any undead people—at least none that I’m aware of. So I think I’ll stick to writing what I know best—women on voyages of self discovery who get where they need to go with a little help from their friends.

When Magnolia Wednesdays’ Vivien Gray takes a bullet in the behind during the filming of an expose she has reason to worry about her family’s reaction as well as her reputation. She hates being the butt of all those jokes. And when she’s forced to fill in at her sister’s suburban ballroom dance studio, she tells herself she’s just observing the local wildlife and refuses to consider how her investigation into her brother-in-law’s death may impact those she loves.

Vivi’s is the kind of story I enjoy sinking my teeth into. Which is why I’m planning to continue writing living-breathing protagonists and leave the vampire and paranormal novels to those who do them so well.

-- Wendy Wax, Magnolia Wednesdays (www.authorwendywax.com)